First, some perspective, I have a theory: Holidays, like other human inventions, are born of necessity. This Labor Day so feels like a Sunday for good reason. It was a tough week on the business front... it's the end of the Summer... there was a full moon AND a total lunar eclipse no less. C'mon! Too, much. I so need this time off to recoup.
Here, allow me to unburden myself. I know I risk conveying a constellation of bad karma but I do promise to be extra careful. That said, let me tell you why this holiday comes at a good time. Last week was a total cluster fuck (excuse me). I mean, it was an unconscionable and deadly cloud of toxic radiation, killer bees and crushing disappointments. Arrrgh. Seriously, God really outdid herself. Anyone even passively familiar with the Bible knows of her penchant for obstacles, resistance and spontaneous open-sore bleeding.
Okay, after the site had crashed no less than four times, we learned that we'd been variously attacked. First, by some prolific but smarmy Russian comment spammer and then by some knucklehead hacker actually trying to futz the database. Then, dear Brian (God love 'em) decided to update the Serendipity blog script. A five-minute task regrettably turned into a seven-hour trial of skittish access and broken links. Then, when it rains it pours, of course, Technorati decides to burp. They're out of sync (again). Excuse me but fucking with the index, fucks with viewership which impacts our numbers and to Hell we spiral in the "let's redefine friend" Scoble world of PR as "PageRank."
That, of course, says nothing of the myriad of shit that's been frustrating our growth. Our production house for Strumpette Couture after 5 months emailed us last week to tell us that they could not live up to our quality standards. And our plans for video were somewhat chilled after a series of bloody wrestling matches with Adobe and Sony. (Sidebar: Those battles continue.)
And the topper? This was a particularly intense week for annoyance on the personal front. Apparently -- better said preliminarily as it is not confirmed -- I've been diagnosed with Asperger. That certainly explains a lot. A creative addition to Bipolar if I must say so myself.
Anyway, all to say, God is being incessantly annoying and especially petty. I've been dancing with swarms of bees while slowly pecked to death by rabid ducks. Everything is broken. Everything's an obstacle. I spend my time bathed in tedium waiting for the next sure disappointment. Bottom line: I'm totally exhausted fighting it.
As such, I'm spending the day at the pool.
PS In the spirit of always end on a positve note... As of this writing, I understand the site is now streamlined and secure. The server's kernel has been updated. Comments have been shut off. And hey, if it all works out, we've got a great new HD camera and we're all set to start doing some video. And lastly, thanks to our contributors, we've got several great articles on tap. A few things to live for.
So stay tuned. Thanks for your patience and continued support. See you here bright and early tomorrow.
“I am not gay,” this week became an infamous, desperate, failed attempt at political self-preservation akin to “I am not a crook” (Richard Nixon) and “I never had sex with that woman” (Bill Clinton). The moralistic Republicans swiftly and mercilessly eviscerated Idaho Senator Larry Craig, himself a relentless gay basher, as the heathen Democrats silently watched them eat their own with little prompting. Not surprisingly, the Clintons had no comment.
Missing from the Republican Craig-bash was Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, whose family-values baggage is so heavy his children won’t even speak to him, let alone head on the campaign trail. In any case, we are glad to hear that Tucker Carlson, the MSNBC-backed backed right-wing moralist with a sphincter so tight he has to wear a bow tie, claims he smacked a guy who approached him in a public restroom. That Tucker, he’s such a he-man.
I guarantee that the Larry Craig stall in the Minneapolis airport becomes a tourist attraction as big as the Mall of America, or the spot where Mary Richards throws her hat in the air, two of the only reasons to layover in that town. The restroom is in the main airport concourse just across from the food court and near a giant statue of Snoopy and Woodstock in aviator gear. There are nine stalls along the far left wall across from five urinals. The Larry Craig stall is the second from the back. One Web site ranks it as Minnesota's top gay cruising restroom. "This is the best spot for anonymous action I've ever seen," wrote one poster to the site. Another said: "Plenty of dark stall action, too!"
Interest in the stall is so high that we have received word of a short indie movie being filmed on the spot of the fateful toe tap. Titled simply “The Stall,” the word is that the movie involves no words. Instead, two men signal to each other #1 or #2 and proceed to pee, doody, fart, belch, wipe their asses and adjust their belts, pick their noses, inspect their penis’ for signs of abuse, or whatever unattractive things men usually do in public restrooms. The film is due to premiere this fall at the Mark Fuhrman Theatre near Ruby Ridge, Idaho.
A big ‘way to go, man’ to playwright Paul Addis who burned the Burning Man before the Burning Man was supposed to be burned, therefore igniting a flame of discontent among the Burning Man establishment (during the lunar eclipse no less). In his brilliant interview with Wired Addis proves that at the elevated Trickster level PR is art as he both confirms and denies his complicity in the treacherous act. Addis ends his interview by issuing a challenge we all should heed: “Don’t be a passive audience member. Cross the line.” Gonzo artists who support Addis say that the commercialization of Burning Man has led it to become more “Earning Man” and since the Man is getting up in years perhaps he suffered a case of premature ignition. Addis, who admits responsibility for affixing a huge set of cajones to the Man some years back, intends to plead not guilty to all charges.
On Thursday, March 8, 2007 at 7:41 AM, Ronn Torossian, President and CEO of 5WPR, emphatically promised that he was going to sue us. No real reason, he was just irritated by our teasing him about getting in bed with pornographer Joe Francis. Anyway, Ronn gave his obscenity-laced word that we'd see the complaint in 72 hours. It's now late by
Kathleen Durazo about A Measly $2.8 Million Goes Missing, Lawsuit Results Fri, Jul 31, 10:58:34 AM Ray Durazo (the founder) sold the company to Dan in 1999. He was not involved in any of this. He (and I) found out about the lawsuit in the LA Times. In addition to embezzling this m [...]