Posted by Amanda Chapel Thursday, November 9, 2006
CHICAGO - One of the world's leading media spamming companies today announced its plan to release a software platform that will deliver all of the company’s media stalking, spam monitoring and victim evaluation products. MediaSource7 is scheduled for release the first quarter of '07. Bacon's Information Inc. today released the product development "roadmap" to a worldwide audience of eager PR spammers.
Steve Newman, Bacon's CEO said... well... very little. “While products and services in the marketplace have become increasingly similar, our essential differentiator continues to be our focus on the client.” Oh.
Designed and built to meet the needs of thousands of current PR media trackers, stalkers and spammers, MediaSource7 will be fully customizable offering a wide variety of options for access to Bacon’s media contact information databases, monitoring content feeds, and mass-distribution evaluation services.
The rollout of the application will entail several interim releases. The initial release will pretty much contain all of the core capabilities of Bacon’s existing MediaSource applications, the company said.
Tim McManus, Bacon’s SVP of Product Management, stated the totally obvious, “MediaSource7 will empower organizations of all sizes to manage communications campaigns more effectively from start to finish with one easy-to-use online solution."
About Bacon’s Information Inc.
Bacon’s, a subsidiary of Observer AB, helps PR weasels improve results with clips-by-the-pound publicity campaigns. Bacon’s offers services designed to give anyone with a buck the ability to target their pitches more efficiently, quasi-customize mass distribution, monitor any subsequent media coverage and evaluate overall media-spamming campaigns.
Posted by Amanda Chapel Wednesday, November 8, 2006
This just in... one of the blogosphere’s top “experts” dodged harsh recrimination late yesterday by employing the renowned “Monkey Butt” communications technique.
Having its roots in anthropology, the “monkey butt” is actually a tribal communications tactic used to display submission. Among certain primate species, there's a curious but consistent behavior employed to ensure peace and harmony within the "monkey troop." A less dominate male will turn his back and offer his bulbous pink haunches to more dominate members of the social hierarchy so as to avoid conflict. (Note: also see "penis fencing" and "rump rubbing" used among Bonobo males to express reconciliation.)
Remember Bill Clinton sweating under the intense lights of the Lewinsky deposition saying that he "did not have sex with that woman," and that it "depends on what your definition of 'is' is”? Similarly, Shel parses good PR and bad PR so as to avoid being righteously schtupped.
As he displays his monkey butt, he makes the distinction that he only does the good kind of PR. He says, “I believe ethical public relations has a place in the blogosphere; and it’s the same place it has anywhere else.”
As an example, he sites an incident that happened in his illustrious career some 15 years ago. Apparently, while working for a medical optics company, a bootleg product appeared in the marketplace. Shel issued a media advisory to area press outlets to alert the public. In Shel’s words, “It’s possible that this message saved some the eyesight of some Waco teens." Today, Shel notes, "that message could spread much faster in the blogosphere than it did in 1991 or 1992 when we relied on local TV and radio stations.”
- But didn't those TV and radio stations also act as society's ombudsmans, so to speak? Wasn't that what gave PR legitimacy in the first place as the message was appropriately filtered?
- How many instances of the "good PR" has Shel had in his 30-year career? How often is a PR person hired completely devoid of corporate “marketing,” “influence” and “strategy”? If not for profits (directly or indirectly), for what is your client contact held accountable?
- And didn’t the release say that in order “to build a strong foundation of new marketing practitioners,” Crayon president Joe Jaffe “reached out to some of new marketing's most influential,” namely “communications veteran Shel Holtz.” Double hmmmmm.
Ideal for butt busting activities such as truck driving, motorcycling, bicycling, horse back riding, and PR. The powder may also be applied inside footwear, under sports pads, and other areas prone to chafing. Indoors or outdoors, work or play, or on occasions when you sit on your butt all day, don’t let your buns get red, use Anti Monkey Butt Powder instead!
On Thursday, March 8, 2007 at 7:41 AM, Ronn Torossian, President and CEO of 5WPR, emphatically promised that he was going to sue us. No real reason, he was just irritated by our teasing him about getting in bed with pornographer Joe Francis. Anyway, Ronn gave his obscenity-laced word that we'd see the complaint in 72 hours. It's now late by
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