Posted by Bruce Pilgrim Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Talking to My Cats: 12-18-07
In the spirit of the season, I'm sharing our family's annual holiday letter below. Enjoy!
Wow, this year has been a blur! It seems like only yesterday we were celebrating the holiday season and now it's come around again! Whew!
Our family certainly has a great deal for which to be grateful; including the plea agreement our attorneys negotiated that kept Dad out of jail once again. It's community service time again, but he's used to it - he already knows where they keep the mops down at the Drop-In Center.
Junior continues to prove he's a chip off the old block, the little dickens! Now that he's reached the grand old age of 21, he's become a regular at the local gentlemen's club and a connoisseur of the dance. (The lap dance, that is!)
We're also grateful they lifted the restraining order on Uncle Carl, who is now once again free to pursue his dream girl. Also YouTube finally took down that embarrassing and probably fake confession someone posted.
Jimmy's almost totally over the deprogramming we arranged for him after he was rescued from that awful cult. (Who knew Republicans could be so fanatical?) He says he doesn't resent us and makes a very strong case for being let out of the house unescorted. Maybe next year, Jimmy!
My sister's kids also appear to be completely recovered from the injuries sustained in last month's tragic trampling by their fellow Hanna Montana fans. They've taken our little jokes about their achy-breaky bones pretty much in stride.
Wanna be a total Grinch and steal Christmas? Here's how: Write a bullshit press release that: has little to no news value at all; reads like a bad ad; and focuses on you rather than your client. Then, put a big bow on it and say "Happy Holidays."
Today, Empower PR, a little known agency claiming to be "one of Chicago's most accomplished PR firms," blasted out an advertisement in the form of a press release that couldn't be worse. Then again, it just could be Grinch PR at it's finest.
On Thursday, March 8, 2007 at 7:41 AM, Ronn Torossian, President and CEO of 5WPR, emphatically promised that he was going to sue us. No real reason, he was just irritated by our teasing him about getting in bed with pornographer Joe Francis. Anyway, Ronn gave his obscenity-laced word that we'd see the complaint in 72 hours. It's now late by
Kathleen Durazo about A Measly $2.8 Million Goes Missing, Lawsuit Results Fri, Jul 31, 10:58:34 AM Ray Durazo (the founder) sold the company to Dan in 1999. He was not involved in any of this. He (and I) found out about the lawsuit in the LA Times. In addition to embezzling this m [...]