• 99.9% of people who inflict PowerPoint presentations on us read every line on every slide? Don’t they have anything else to say? Do they think we can't read?

• National newscasts do stories about how the price per gallon of gasoline went up or down last week? Are there a lot of drivers who are ignorant about the price of gas? Or is this bit of information directed at non-drivers who can then gloat about not having to endure such pain? (And how come price increases are always dramatic and enormous, and decreases come in tiny increments?)

• There hasn't been a single truly original and compelling Super Bowl commercial since the Apple "1984" spot?

• Financial reporters are so good at explaining why the stock market moved up or down yesterday, but haven't a clue what is going to happen in the next twenty minutes? They have 20-20 hindsight and Mr. Magoo foresight.

• Must those of us with non-fashion model physiques keep trying to get away with fashion choices that emphasize our doughy bodies? Shouldn't people think twice before drawing extra attention to their extra lard? (Full disclosure: as a public service, I never sing or take off my shirt in public.)

• Obit writers refer to "the untimely death" of this or that corpse? Has anyone ever died at the expected time?

• Political pundits in such a hurry to winnow down the list of presidential candidates so quickly? Do they all have side bets on each person in the race? One week, someone wins a primary or caucus and is a sure thing for the White House, and the next they're dog meat for finishing second in a state with the population of Guam.

• Weather reporters always say that high winds "lashed" coastal areas? Is lash the only thing wind can do?

• The "fresh face" candidate who reluctantly throws his hat in the ring long after every other candidate has been bloviating for years, always turn out to be such a dud? (See Wesley Clark and Fred Thompson.)

• The guy who murders his family, the dog, and the fish and then sets fire to his lovely home on a quiet suburban street always described as a "Nice guy, a good neighbor, but kind of quiet?"

• Cats wait until you are about to get up from a chair to sit on your lap?

• I asking all these dumb ass questions? Do I think I'm fooling anyone that I haven't enough material for a complete column?

Bruce Pilgrim is the CEO and janitor of Bruce Pilgrim Marketing Communications, LLC. He recently published his first book, Talking to My Cats: A Small Business Journal.