Edelman Leaks Master Plan for Web ManipulationPosted by Brian Connolly
Yesterday, Edelman PR, the world's largest independent ambiguous marketing agency, leaked their master plan for online Web manipulation. Titled “Distributed Influence: Quantifying the Impact of Social Media,” it claims to be a first step in adding method to the Web 2.0 madness. It sets out to: "1. Develop a metric, or set of metrics, that allows publishers to more accurately quantify their value as a medium such that they can attract more and higher quality and relevant advertising and sponsorship revenues; and 2. Provide advertisers and marketers a metric that helps them with a more scientific way to plan and measure the outcomes of their various campaigns." Scientific distributed manipulation! YIKES! Anyway, as PRs are instinctually prone to do, the "whitepaper" (i.e. PR sales brochure) first sets out to spin the word “influence.” According to the paper, it could be defined in multiple ways such as: “It's a noun and a verb; It's an action and an outcome; It's credibility – having someone pay attention to you; It's personal and builds from the inside-out and the bottom-up, generally one person, or one personal network at a time; and It’s not a purely rational thing.” With “influence” now otherwise redefined and emasculated, the paper then gets down to business. Here are a few key excerpts:
In other words, as an agent, the objective is to otherwise strategically, directly and measurably cause an individual or group to align with, and act out, a client's agenda. Well, before you get nervous, the “whitepaper” was only a compilation of comments made during a series of brainstorming sessions. And the group was composed mostly of Edelman employees, i.e. Steve Rubel, David Dunne, Sarah Petersen, Richard Edelman, Jonny Bentwood and Rick Murray. (Also in attendance were the former television critic for TV Guide and People magazine, and creator of Entertainment Weekly, Jeff Jarvis; as well as Keith O’Brien, PRWeek; Henry Copeland, BlogAds; Peter Kim, Forrester Research; and Dr. Walter Carl, Northeastern University.) The good news is that “devising” may actually exceed the group some. They admit, “This methodology standard is a long way down the road.” COMMENTARY Maximizing the impact of a marketer's investment is NOT a "dilemma;" it's an ongoing business challenge. The dilemma is the looming total rejection of "influence" on the Net.
First off, NOBODY wants to be "controlled" either on or off the Web. It's undignified. It robs us of the one thing that makes us human, i.e. choice. In the past, we gave marketers permission as their messages were sanctified via mainstream media. Today however, Edelman and other "agents" have decided to circumvent that social contract and go direct. The problem is that, transparent or not, the agents have become superfluous to the transaction. The Web disintermediates middlemen. As such, their bounty is nothing more than an added cost to the customer. Regrettably, the only way to bury that cost is for the PR agent to become direct marketer and foster sales, i.e. surreptitious mercenary meme spreaders. Not good. Bottom line, the question really is this: what will Edelman and the PR industry devise as the Web ecosphere turns increasingly to demand completely agnostic information? "Conversation facilitators"? C'mon. Conversations happen on their own. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Now that's a dilemma. EDITOR'S NOTES Additional comments made by key players in Edelman’s Me2REvolution Practice:
Rick Murray, President, Me2Revolution
Phil Gomes, Blog Specialist, Edelman
Steve Rubel, SVP Edelman Bookmark This
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You said it better than I could, but here's my take: http://tinyurl.com/34tpe8
The only ones manipulated will be the hapless Edelman clients who buy into this BS.
In the immortal words of Danny Kaye:
Now there was once a king who was absolutely insane about new clothes and one day, two swindlers came to sell him what they said was a magic suit of clothes. Now, they held up this particular garment and they said, "Your Majesty, this is a magic suit." Well, the truth of the matter is, there was no suit there at all. But the swindlers were very smart, and they said, "Your Majesty, to a wise man this is a beautiful raiment but to a fool it is absolutely invisible." Naturally, the King not wanting to appear a fool, said, "Isn't it grand! Isn't it fine! Look at the cut, the style, the line! The suit of clothes is all together But all together it's all together The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever seen. These eyes of mine at once determined The sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of green. Somebody send for the Queen." Well they sent for the Queen and they quickly explained to her about the magic suit of clothes. And naturally, the Queen not wanting to appear a fool, said, "Well, isn't it oh! Isn't it rich! Look at the charm of every stitch! The suit of clothes is all together But all together it's all together The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever seen. These eyes of mine at once determined The sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of green. Summon the court to convene." Well the court convened, and you never saw in your life as many people as were at that court. All the ambassadors, the dukes, the earls, the counts, it was just black with people, and they were all told about the magic suit of clothes. And after they were told they naturally didn't want to appear fools and they said, "Isn't it ohhh! Isn't it ahhh! Isn't it absolutely wheee(whistle sound)! The suit of clothes is all together But all together it's all together The most remarkable suit of clothes a tailor ever made. Now quickly, put it all together With gloves of leather and hat and feather It's all together the thing to wear in Saturday's parade. Leading the royal brigade." Now Saturday came and the streets were just lined with thousands, and thousands, and thousands of people, and they all were cheering as the artillery came by, the infantry marched by, the cavalry galloped by. And everybody was cheering like mad, except one little boy. You see, he hadn't heard about the magic suit and didn't know what he was supposed to see. Well, as the King came by the little boy looked and, horrified, said, "Look at the King! Look at the the King! Look at the King, the King, the King! The King is in the all together But all together the all together He's all together as naked as the day that he was born. The King is in the all together But all together the all together It's all together the very least the King has ever worn."
These guys obviously purchased Rich Shefren's or maybe Andy Jenkins SMART deal and are repackaging it to sell as their brilliance.
The sketch of the plan is particularly disturbing. All those poor little cats being manipulated! Does PETA know about this?
I want to influence the influencers who influence the influential, like the guy who runs the corner bodega and determines who gets the last roll of toilet paper.
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Would you like to be manipulated? Would you like to be influenced, managed shrewdly or deviously, tampered with variously... and all for someone else’s gain? If yes, then you’re just who Edelman PR is looking for.