Some PR types have also discovered that they can foster their own blogs, with often hilarious results. WalMart's travel blog last year lasted about fifteen minutes before it was unmasked as a pure PR play. Any number of cringe-inducing "character blogs" abound, wherein we can learn about Barbie's unrequited crush on Midge; Mayor McCheese's foot fetish, and how many asshole college kids are entering this year's Captain Morgan foot on an imaginary keg pose-off.

And then there's the undercover blogging strategy: Whole Foods Market CEO John Mackey has admitted posting slams against competitor Wild Oats Markets in financial chat rooms under the pseudonym of rahodeb, predicting bankruptcy for its competitor, which is now a takeover target. Whole Foods spinmeisters put the whole thing in perspective in an AP story:

"Mr. Mackey made those postings from 1999 to 2006 under an alias to avoid having his comments associated with the company and to avoid others placing too much emphasis on his remarks," Whole Foods said.

Well, OK then. How considerate of him. And here we thought he was a sleaseball.

At least Mackey wrote his own stuff. Many CEO blogs are celebrations of blandorama corporate speak, sanded down by the legal department, and then given several coats of varnish by the Ministry of Truth. Full disclosure: I have been a staff member of the Ministry of Truth for several corporations and consider myself a gifted corporatespeak craftsman, but I've never – so far – ghost-blogged (ghlogged?) for the big guy. But, if I did, it might look something like this:

"At Ginormous Corp., we're all about people. People such as our customers, our suppliers, and our associates. We don't view them as merely "employees," or "headcount," or "overhead." We value them as vital to the success of our business. That's why it was so difficult to let thousands of them go recently when we had to address our profit objectives. In the long run, however, it was the best decision for our business, and as I'm sure you noticed, our stock price shot up three points after we made the layoff announcement..."

Lately the blogosphere (!) has been babbling about providing affordable health care benefits to needy bloggers. (I am not making this up.) Why is Congress wasting its breath on increasing spending on the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP), when they should be working on the Comprehensive Healthcare for Unemployable Geeks initiative, or CHUG.

These poor bastards are working in unbearable conditions in their parents' damp, dingy basements, often clad only in underwear and bathrobes. Deprived of natural light or human companionship, they stare bleary-eyed into their monitors for days on end, subsisting only on energy drinks and Slim Jims, posting updates hourly, commenting on other blogs, and constantly casting about for something to be outraged about.

Won't you please help?

Bruce Pilgrim is the CEO and janitor of Bruce Pilgrim Marketing Communications, LLC. He recently published his first book, Talking to My Cats: A Small Business Journal.