Talking to My Cats: 8-21-07Posted by Bruce Pilgrim MyFace
OK, the truth is, I'm much more familiar with anti-social media, such as calls from bill collectors, rude gestures from other motorists, and Fox News. I have dicked around a little in social media, and I have found out blogging, which is supposed to be a two-way thing, a conversation, is mostly just a way to vent millions of spleens. (See global warming.) Years ago, you'd have to own a newspaper or buy advertising in order to annoy people with your stupid opinions. Today you can opine online for free. You might even find a more or less substantial audience of like-thinking lunatics and make a little money on the side. Right now, for example, Google and amazon combined owe me 7 cents. Social networks, however, are mainly about what I believe young people call "hooking up." Now, with every sub-atomic particle in my meager being, I hope never be single again. For a lot of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I love my wife, Sharon, very much. And from a practical standpoint, I'm fairly sure I'd never be able to find anyone else willing to put up with me. I must admit, however, that I'm very surprised and more than a little flattered by all the attractive young women who apparently want to become my "friend." At least once a week, I get an e-mail from another young lady whom I've never met. Each appears to be responding to my MySpace page and finds me interesting enough to want to connect with me. This is kind of surprising, inasmuch as I have fully disclosed my age (let's just say quite a bit north of 30) and marital status (happily, most of the time) and clearly stated that my reasons for being on MySpace are primarily for networking purposes and some vague hopes of selling copies of my book. Plus, I have also posted a picture of myself (with a cheetah named Sahara), which gives visitors a clear idea of what I look like. I've never been recruited by any modeling agencies, and I've never considered an acting career. My face is decidedly not my fortune. Yet, to my astonishment, a lot of young ladies seem to be interested in me. Oddly, this did not appear to be the case when I was single. Perhaps it was because the ladies I encountered were overly bashful, and unwilling to make the first move. Many of them were so shy, they responded to my approaches by either running away or reaching for the pepper spray. With the aid of the Internet, apparently, the world has changed dramatically. No longer shackled by inhibitions and traditions, today's young woman is unafraid to make the first move. Take Flame for example. This uninhibited 26 year old apparently lost a bet with a friend, requiring her to post nude pictures of herself on a website. Coincidently, the exact same bet was also lost by another young lady named Clarissa just a few weeks before. (Some sort of Web 2.0 strip poker fad, I assume.) Both of them confided their stories to me and sent me to a website that would have featured those photos, had I been willing to surrender my VISA account number. Recently, I've been contacted by triplets, apparently. One by one, Allison, Maribeth, and Marisela each sent me to identical personal pages with identical photos of the same young woman. They also each wrote the same message: "About me: Hey Everyone! I've moved my profile here because MySpace won't allow me to post some of my nude modeling pictures. If you want to see my more revealing pictures, I've uploaded my entire modeling photo album to my free profile here – My Personal Pictures and Video – which allows some of my more scandalous photos. Signing up takes 2 seconds as they want to verify you are 18 or over. After you've signed up simply search for my handle 'Sexy4u2' to get to my 'personal' page." And then there's Sophie, who in her "About Me" section says: "My nickname is the busty ninja. I have an alter ego named Ariel who comes out after the booze starts flowing. I don't drink anymore, but I don't drink any less, either." Strictly in the interest of exploring the social networking phenomenon, I followed the links provided in every case, only to find myself on what appear to be pornography websites. (I'm not completely sure, having never experienced things.) I've also heard from Diana, Faith, and Carolanne, all of whom appear to be exceedingly friendly and open young ladies. I'm trying not to let all this attention go to my head, but frankly, I'm puzzled. The simple truth is, I'm not all that good-looking, in my humble opinion. There is only one possible conclusion: I'm a hottie. Bruce Pilgrim is the CEO and janitor of Bruce Pilgrim Marketing Communications, LLC. He recently published his first book, Talking to My Cats: A Small Business Journal. Bookmark This
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So, I've been getting down with this social media stuff. Second Life might be big fun, I imagine, if I can ever acquire a better graphics processor, some rudimentary programming abilities, and a hankering for virtual sex. Meanwhile, I've blogged, YouTubed, Twittered, Digged, Wikkied, and Whatchamacallited. So, I'm now one of the foremost experts in the metaverse and blogosphere.
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Tracked: Aug 21, 14:09