Tory MP Calls It a Disgrace

LONDON -- This just in... it has been learned that more than 1,000 people with a communications job code in the Ministry of Defence are now officially listed as missing in action. In a recently surfaced document from the MoD here, senior officials have "no clear idea" who or where they are!

The document was first published in February but is only now coming to light. The disclosures come just weeks after Prime Minister Gordon Brown implied that the time had come for the Government to dump "the culture of spin."

According to the document, The Defence Communications Strategy "aims to enhance the reputation of the Department and Armed Forces both internally and externally, through influencing the understanding, activity and perception of internal, domestic and international audiences." The document states that by "creating a steady stream of positive stories" to "promote the MoD and Forces' reputation" they can "offset the inevitable bad stories." However, senior officials now admit that they have no idea of who these people are, whether they're even making an impact, or the actual cost to the country.

Finally, Patrick Mercer, Tory MP and former infantry commander, claimed that it was "utterly ridiculous" and a "disgrace" that the MoD was spending millions on public relations when "soldiers still had to buy their own kit." Mercer said: "War on two fronts has meant that defence budgets are stretched like never before. With fighting troops needing everything they can, we can't have this sort of nonsense and spin going on inside the MoD."