Ya know, it's the little things that set me off. The toilet seat up, the mismixed cocktail (for the third time!), the douche bag in front of me at Starbucks holding up the line flirting with the barista... Arrrrgh, I hate that. It can just put me in a funk for days.
See, it's not any one thing. It's because the brain connects the dots to make a big thing. There's no Big Dipper. We're just hard wired to connect it up; give it a name; and assign it significance.
Well, here's my "constellation" for the day. For those unfamiliar, "cunny constellations" were conceived as a method of bypassing obscenity laws in eighteenth-century Britain. Hugely successful, the belief was that distributors were immune to arrest and seizure. By the mid-1880s, erotic connect-the-dots had been abandoned in favor of less cryptic illustrations.
Well, this is surely obscene, connect these dots:
Sound the alarm -- "Diplomacy and sanctions have failed," says John Bolton, former top nonproliferation official at the State Department and ex-US ambassador to the UN. "We have to look at overthrowing the [Iranian] regime... or a last-resort use of force," he told The Jerusalem Post.
Conflict may erupt this summer -- Iran, Hizbullah, Hamas, World Jihad, and Syria are all actively working against Israel, and may force a conflict as early as this summer, head of Military Intelligence Maj.-Gen. Amos Yadlin told ministers on Sunday during the weekly cabinet meeting.
Bank of International Settlements: Credit Boom May Spark Depression -- The Bank of International Settlements (BIS) is warning that the global economy could be on the brink of a major depression similar to the one that passed in the 1930s. The BIS said that years of loose monetary policy have fueled a dangerous credit bubble leaving the global economy more vulnerable to an economic catastrophe than is generally understood.
Olmert wants public relations, not a peace process -- Arab member of Knesset, head of the Democratic Front parliamentarian block at the Knesset, Mohammad Baraka, stated on Tuesday that the statements of Israel’s Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, during the Monday summit in Egypt, are only statements of public relations, and are not meant to push forward the peace process.
Paris Hilton: PEOPLE's Exclusive Interview -- In an exclusive interview and photo shoot with PEOPLE Magazine, Hilton, gives a candid glimpse into her 23 days in jail – including her explanation of the medical problems that led to her brief transfer to house arrest, and what she says she's learned from her experience. "I was basically in the fetal position, basically in hysterics," Hilton says of her first sleepless nights in jail. As for her fellow inmates, she adds, "All of the inmates were very supportive. There were girls next to me. We could talk through the vents and they were just really sweet."
Why do I bring that up here on Strumpette? In light of that picture, how can you pitch a story about tooth paste today? "APCO, Cassidy Complain About 'Lies"? Please... how would they know? "Kempner named Best Communications Executive for 2007 by the American Business Association." Cut me a break; IT'S JUNE! And my favorite, "Secrets of Winning PR Awards: How to Create Superior Entries"... Total Bulldog doo!!
Arrrrrrrgh!!!