Posted by Kailey Astor
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Celebrity-Pol-Police Officers Involved in Molestation of Young Animals Sought
So... looking for a little media attention to spark your career? Here's an interesting New Year's resolution from none other than Rocky. Apparently, he's seeking celebrities, politicos and police officers involved in molestation of young animals to garner some much needed publicity.
Los Angeles City Attorney Rockard John "Rocky" Delgadillo, a up-and-coming political figure in California, does NOT underestimate the value of showbiz. Known for his widely-publicized prosecutions of entertainer Paul "Pee Wee Herman" Reubens for possession of child pornography, Rocky's put together a new program for '07 designed to help him significantly increase his visibility.
According to Delgadillo, "Our reinvigorated Communications Department is cranking out press releases at an impressive rate."
a. Cases involving celebrities (no matter how minor), where the celebrity is the defendant, the victim or a witness;
b. Cases involving an elected official, political figure, community leader or other notable person;
c. Cases involving an event that has already received media attention;
d. Cases that resulted in a death or mutilation;
e. Cases in which a police officer is alleged to have engaged in official misconduct or committed a crime of moral turpitude.
f. Cases involving child molestation, abuse or exploitation, or elder abuse resulting in a documented serious injury to the victim; and
g. Cases involving animal cruelty.
NOW THAT'S PR!
FINAL NOTE: In the spirit of the Holiday Season, Strumpette would like to extend our very best wishes to Rocky. May he find many dead, mutilated and/or molested celebrity animals in '07.