CHICAGO - Using the cover of night, Disney's Mickey Mouse pulled off a huge heist here yesterday. Mickey -- along with accomplices Goofy, Minnie Mouse, Pluto, Chip 'n Dale, Clara Cluck and Daisy Duck -- stole Christmas outright from Santa Claus at the annual Christmas Parade down the Magnificent Mile.

According to the PR announcement: "The Greater North Michigan Avenue Association will celebrate the 15th Annual Magnificent Mile Lights Festival on Saturday. The festive lighting of more than one million lights along North Michigan Avenue is ushered in by Mickey Mouse and his Disney friends, followed by a spectacular fireworks show over the Chicago River."

Santa, the mythical gift-giving figure in various cultures known for distributing presents to children worldwide, was noticeably upset by what had happened. Santa said, "I am the damn star. Mickey doesn't know butkus about Christmas. Without me there wouldn't be a 'Magnificent Mile.'"

According to our sources, the cost of the event is a drop in the bucket compared to the traffic and revenue it generates for Disney World.

SIDEBAR

Mickey if you're reading this, all we want is a HD Camcorder. We've been good. We're goin' to Disney World!