Satire - Strumpette

Sir Berners-Lee Ends Revolution in PRLand

Posted by Amanda Chapel
Saturday, November 4, 2006

Rebels to be Rounded Up

In an interview yesterday, creator of the Internet, brave knight Sir Tim Berners-Lee, said that he believes that the Web is in danger of being corrupted by fraudsters, liars and cheats. "If left unchecked," he did proclaim, "the virtual Kingdom would lose its fame." That surely trumpets the end of PRland's "Me2Revolution."

If you recall when our fairytale first began:

From lair to lair the news was spread,
And one and all leapt out of bed,
And sallied forth, with loud hurrays,
The Me2 Standard of Revolt to raise.

The Bear looked fierce, the Crocodile
Put on his most bloodthirsty smile;
The Leopard and the Wolf were there,
And cheers resounded in the air.

Then Richard roared a lengthy speech,
And called, in loudest tones, on each
To do his best when came the fray,
Not be afraid, nor run away.

Cried he: "Now, onward to the field,
To make this tyrant Sorrell yield!"
"Charge, Leopard, charge—on, Tiger, on!"
Were the first words of Me2Rebellion.

In the later part of our poem, Sir Tim cuts to the heart of the rebel cause. Rather than in iambic pentameter, here for absolute clarity, we'll summarize:

- The rise of blogging is one of the most difficult areas for the continuing development of the web, because of the risks associated with inaccurate, defamatory and uncheckable information.
- Devotees of blogging sites take too much information on trust: "The blogging world works by people reading blogs and linking to them. You're taking suggestions of what you read from people you trust. The next generation of the internet needs to be able to reassure users that they can establish the original source of the information they digest."
- The intention is to make sure the internet of the future remains free and open for anybody. "We're not going to be trying to make a web that will be better for people who vote in a particular way, or better for people who think like we do," he said.

In less than 150 words Sir Tim poetically and completely dismissed the three tenets of the Me2Revolution. With rapier-like wit, in one fell swoop, he dismissed Edelman's over-hyped Trust Barometer, dismantled King Richard's infamous proclamation that PR could work around the media unchecked, and disputed the manipulation of mass perception, i.e. PR on the Web.

HOW DOES THE STORY END?

The other Rebels, when they heard
Of what to poor Richard had occurred,
Surrendered everyone next day,
And threw down arms without delay.

This done, the prisoners were sent
Off to perpetual banishment;
Forbidden thenceforth, under pain
Of death, to e'er come back again!
Oh, sad indeed that Rubel band,
That bade farewell to dear PRland.

# # #

NOTE: Based on The Animals' Rebellion, by Clifton Bingham, Illustrated by G. H. Thompson.

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