Remember my favorite Leopard Pony-Haired Heels? The Jimmy Choos? God, I love those shoes. I slept in 'em. They went with everything, from cocktail dress to jeans. Probably the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned. Absolutlely. Well, a few days ago while taking a shortcut through Connors Park, I stepped in dog doo. RUINED. $735 gone, just like that. Dammit.

Well, maybe it's due to the full moon but it looks like it might be twice in one week. Ogilvy PR, another one of my favorite old shoes, stepped in it, too. Bugger.

Wednesday it was announced by PRWeak that The Interactive Media Entertainment and Gaming Association (iMEGA), a nonprofit that lobbies for online gambling, hired Ogilvy PR. Shit.

According to the announcement, the firm will assist with brand awareness, as well as with IMEGA's primary objective, i.e. backing various pro-online-gambling legislation in Congress.

IMEGA president Edward Leyden said: "They'll help us craft our public message. We think there is a brand to be built for our association. We're new and trying to build our name." Leyden added, "One prime goal is to stop the enforcement of the 2006 Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act."

Oh, Christ.

I gotta tell ya, this is really hard. We really like Ogilvy. Stellar brand with a stellar portfolio. But this? This ranks right down there with Torossian's getting in bed with pornographer Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild. No it's worse. Online gambling is uncontrolled pornography that can ruin lives in an instant.

Ask Greg Hogan what he thinks of online gambling.

ALLENTOWN, Pa., July 12, 2006 (AP) - A former university class president Greg Hogan, accused of robbing a bank to pay his online poker debts, pleaded guilty Wednesday to felony robbery.

Hogan, 20, the son of a preacher and former president of Lehigh University's class of 2008, was accused of holding up a Wachovia bank branch Dec. 9 by handing a teller a note demanding money and saying he had a gun.

He got away with $2,871, then drove off with two of his fraternity brothers, according to police. Both said they knew nothing of Hogan's plans, and neither was charged.

Hogan was arrested during orchestra practice the night of the robbery, after the cellist had gone to the movies and eaten pizza with his unsuspecting friends.

He owed $5,000 in debts from playing online poker and later entered a treatment program for gambling addiction, according to his attorney, John Waldron.

Anyway, other than the tune Torossian's whistles on the way to the bank that "everybody deserves representation"... why? Smoking, heroin, prostitution... there's a world of social carcinogens. All of 'em have money. All of 'em would like to improve their public image and further their evil agendas.

I don't know. Where Girls Gone Wild fits in with Torossian's portfolio, does the scourge of online gambling fit with Ogilvy? Ogilvy?! We asked the Head of their D.C. office. Robert Mathias had this to say:

"Ogilvy Washington represents clients with a wide range of public policy issues emanating from all sides of the political spectrum and iMEGA is no different. We are providing iMEGA with litigation communications support around the lawsuit that they have filed against the Department of Justice and working to establish this new association as a leading proponent of innovation on the Internet. We welcome them into our public affairs stable."

Oh, God. It’s not coming of. Arrrrrgh.

The man pictured on the right is not a croupier, cabaret crooner, or even effete sommelier; it’s Text 100 EVP, Georg Kolb. Georg, as you are probably aware, is the guy whose claim to fame is that he spearheaded Text 100’s “seminal move into SecondLife,” i.e. the total debacle that’s still an embarrassment to the agency's CEO Aedhmar Hines. Well, he’s back.

By way of background, Georg is in PR “By accident!” (his words). According to Georg: “I was holding philosophy seminars at a German university when a friend of mine asked me to mediate between the new management of a small firm and its employees. As a leader of philosophy seminars, I was used to facilitating ‘difficult groups.’ The meeting turned out to be a huge success. People not only thanked me, but my friend also threw money at me!” Georg has since parleyed that into EVP and head of Text 100’s “Practices and Methodology Group” (“Worldwide,” no less). He presently oversees “the development of the company's service offering;" and is touted as the company’s "futurist." Specifically, "his work focuses on models that consider influencers in a company's ecosystem and reflect the importance of new peer-to-peer platforms like blogs or wikis.” (Apparently, English is not his native tongue.)

Anyway, Georg is apparently again confident and ready to stick his neck out. Maybe not. The following are excerpts of a recent interview with The Lapdog Reporter.

GEORG OUT ON A LIMB

Warning: The following statements by Georg may be a little startling to some.