Posted by Amanda Chapel
Edelman's Secret THRUST Project Confirmed
CHICAGO - Well, fact is, you've likely heard a least some of this: The latest flash-fire rumor to spread throughout the Metaverse is that PR's first blogger has suddenly bolted LA. This just in... the enigmatic Phil Gomes, Senior Counsel for Online Communications at Edelman, one of the largest PR firms in the world, has suddenly left Los Angeles for Chicago. Rumor has it that Gomes, inventor of the SMPR-knockoff StoryMakerUpper 1.0™, is moving here to lead a top-secret Manhattan-like project at the agency's HQ.
Obviously concerned about maintaining secrecy and the likely backlash from the legions of Edelman critics, Gomes released this brief statement: "With this move, I anticipate that education will be a larger part of my role."
Some insiders were quick to characterize the statement as a masterstroke of old-school crisis communications on Edelman's part. Who could argue with Gomes’ need for education? But today, this type of strategic obfuscation often backfires. Gomes' statement has only served to raise speculation and fuel rumor.
To a person, everyone has totally discounted that the move as being client related. That said, the two most widely believed reasons for the move include:
1. Under intense criticism, Rick Murray head of Edelman's faux Me2Revolution Practice wants to reel Gomes in. As an accepted management practice, it is far easier to control a loose-canon in the home office than out in some satellite. Obviously, firing a blogger is no longer a realistic alternative due to the huge potential fallout as a consequence of blogging.
But with Gomes having over nine years experience in PR, along with a B.A. in Communications from Saint Mary’s College, we suspected that there was a lot more going on here. We did a little investigation and got this inside scoop.
Gomes' move is part of Edelman's new massive development project, the "Trust Thermometer." Code named THRUST, this is to be a companion to Edelman's renowned Trust Barometer. Rather that the outward-facing loosely-qualitative assessment of various “influencers” about their bogus opinions as a publicity stunt, the Thermometer will be able to gauge quantifiably the level of a client's gullibility and billing tolerance. This is expected to revolutionize the PR business.
For the record, on a condition of anonymity, an insider told us that “it has been quite difficult to get a few clients to try the new product.” Our source said: “It is highly sensitive. As part of the program, we’ve made every assurance that THRUST will be administered ONLY by a registered nurse."
THRUST is currently being beta tested by Gomes along with Elizabeth, Kristi and Stephanie from Auburn University. It is expected that THRUST will be ready for release in the Fall of ’07.
Posted by Amanda Chapel
World’s Leading Agency Launches Story Wizzzzzard ™
This just in... There’s a new high-tech gadget now available that is sure to displace the legions of word-of-mouth workers. The device cost $21 each and runs on battery power enough to last about three months.
Word-of-Mouth Marketing (WOMM) is a term used to describe activities that marketing companies undertake to generate personal recommendations, as well as referrals for brand names, products and services. Research indicates that individuals are more prone to be fooled by WOMM than more transparent forms of promotion.
The new device is presently being tested in Santa Fe. The state of New Mexico has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that will deliver a recorded message. The devices feature the State DWI slogan: "You drink, you drive, you lose." The NM State Transportation Department plans to distribute them to Santa Fe bars and restaurants including establishments in Farmington, Gallup and Las Cruces.
On the condition of anonymity, a member of the Word of Mouth Marketing Association said: "Well, considering that I pay that total urinal cake Jason close to $4,000 a month to generate a little buzz; this $7 a month alternative is a no brainer. I am sure the total cost would be even less if we changed the battery but..."
Rumor has it that Edelman's faux media lab is close to perfecting a knockoff. Expect to see the Story Wizzzzzard ™ roll out this Spring. Other agency lemmings are now scrambling to devise a competitive product/service.
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