WASHINGTON, DC, August 7, 2006 -- Legislation that would strengthen the rights and protections for some 120 million internet bloggers passed the U.S. Senate today. Offered by Senator Jeffrey Jarvis (D-NJ) and Senator David Searls (OS-CA), the National Disambiguation Act was accepted as an amendment to the Fiscal Year 2007 National Defense Authorization Act. It cleared the Senate 49-47.
"This is a major victory for advocates of Internet Transparency," said Senator Jarvis. "Anonymous criticism, that's been the scourge of the blogging community, is now history."
The National Disambiguation Act creates a national identity database. In addition to Social Security Number, a thorough profile of all net citizens will be compiled and maintained. It will include professional credentials, professional and personal associations and complete financials. This information will be available on demand by anyone in any transaction whatsoever. Ultimately, equality is achieved by handicapping the most intelligent, athletic or beautiful members of society down to the level of the lowest common denominator. This will be overseen by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Office of the Handicapper General.
Javis said, "We must ensure that anyone who wants to criticize bloggers on the net understands that such conduct will have severe consequences. Absent disambiguation, who knows what motives individuals or companies might have as they employ free speech. Now finally the law protects the little guy."
Specifically, the Jarvis-Searls bill will:
- Make anonymity and pseudonymity a federal crime;
- Codify and strengthen the gag provision that has been excluded in appropriations language since 2005;
- Revoke congressional intent that employees are protected for "any" disclosure of waste, fraud, or abuse;
- And provide the Special Counsel in Office of the Handicapper General with the right to file amicus briefs in federal courts.
David "Doc" Searls, who some believe is readying for a run for president on the Open Source party ticket, said, "Today, the U.S. Senate achieved a historic bipartisan breakthrough in favor of comprehensive Internet reform. It's a great day for the proletariat and a more Open America. No?"
I imagine next they'll outlaw Catholic confessionals. I would think that bathroom doors will soon become illegal... along with toupees and cosmetic surgery. Sports mascots or corporate brand characters are surely a no-no. Oh yes, next they'll have Jews wearing a Star of David.