IN THE TRADITION OF BLOG JOURNALISM

By way of background, Ron May writes an internet gossip rag called The May Report. We understand that he's been blogging since 1996. By some not-so-outrageous accounts May is the father of online blog journalism. He is at the very least "a person of interest" we should blame.

His blog-style of journalism was recently portrayed by Peter Harkins for Push CX, in an article coincidentally titled, "Ron May Fellates Goats." Harkins says,

"If I wrote Ron May an email titled '[Prominent business guy] fellates goats', May would run it anonymously, probably with an Editor's Note that this is a really important bit of news. In his next issue, May would run letters titled 'I caught [that guy] fellating goats', '[Other business guy] fellates goats at work', and 'Chicago isn't on the map for venture capital because people fellate goats'. In the following issue there'd be one line in the Editor's Note saying 'When contacted, [first business guy] denied fellating goats. What's he hiding?' And for the next 12 months afterwards, Ron May would break into conversations at local events to demand your opinion on fellating goats."

Now obviously our article was inspired by Harkins. But trust me, we didn't steal it like blog journalists regularly do. Fact is, we've gotten tips regarding Mr. May's fondness for goats and other farm animals for some time. If anything, this story was more inspired by former TV-critic Jeff Jarvis, another renowned "internet journalist." In his article "Dell Sucks" Jarvis revises various traditional journalistic practices to adapt to the networked world. According to Jarvis, "Put that in your Google and smoke it, Dell." In a recent interview for Beet.tv, Jarvis boldly asserts that he chose that headline specifically so as to increase visibility and pickup. He brags, "behind me a mob with pitch forks and torches ready to storm castle Dell."

Okay, let's step back a bit so we are on the same page. There seems to be a lot of confusion about how journalism is being redefined by blogging on the web.

CBS PublicEye asks, "Does Noise Trump Contemplation in The Blogosphere?"

"Is the blogosphere full of citizen journalists who, with a seemingly limitless supply of bandwidth and resources at their fingertips, are becoming a powerful addition to the mainstream media? Or is it in danger of slipping into the 21st Century version of cable talk shows, where those who can shout their outrage the loudest get the most attention?"

Answer: Yes, noise trumps contemplation. Indeed, we are racing toward a global Jerry Springer Show.

Why? Because "societies create structures of authority for producing and distributing knowledge, information, and opinion. These structures are always waxing and waning, depending not only on the invention of new means of communication but also on political, cultural, and economic developments." (See Amateur Hour, by Nicholas Lemann for the New Yorker.) Regrettably, the web has no such structure... and it is not likely it ever will.

Now to that amorphous dynamic, add the essential elements that make blogging so popular. Add the elements of lack of control, instantaneous, and undisciplined... and the result is that as a platform for world culture, we sprint to a place of least common denominator from which there is no return.

So much for the promise of Web 2.0 being the Next Big Thing. Now add the natural propensity for bloodlust and schadenfreude and Reynolds' "Army of Davids" collapses into a destructive Mob of May.

As to Scott, his motive is perfectly aligned. In his words, "I don't like the Strumpette or what it stands for. So I am going to keep writing about it until it goes away," i.e. until he destroys it. In 4 months Scott has written, mentioned, and attempted to defame Strumpette over 125 times, that's 50 percent more than the number of articles that appear on Strumpette in total. He's desperately trying to characterize us as a goat so as to have something to fellate. Sadly, that only leaves him obsessed, jealous and frustrated.

LESSON LEARNED FROM THE NEW JOURNALISM "EXPERTS"

If you decide to enter the blog fray and want to be successful at the new journalism, here's a quick reference how-to fellate a goat:

1. Absolutely start with a catchy mob-inciting headline like Jarvis' "Dell Sucks," or Baradell's "Decline and Fall of the Strumpette Empire."
2. Make lots of accusations. Remember on the net, your target is guilty until proven innocent. Also, most people (Baradell, May and friends) that fellate goats have little money so rest assured, you're relatively lawsuit proof. No one sues a pauper.
3. Feign evidence, anything will do. Make it up! They'll never know; and frankly they'll never care.
4. Take a geek-like stand on a known myth to rally the web mob. Advocate "transparency," for instance. Rouse 'em with "ceding control" and "the conversation." See, these are buzz words that hold out hope that the mob might actually take "Castle Dell!" with their "pitchforks and torches."
5. Seed your mob with bleating goats. Phil Gomes, Mike Krempasky, Mike Driehorst, David Parmet, and the like are sure to chime in with supportive comments. If you are lucky one will shout "Yeah, burn her! Burn her!" Surely that will give your accusations the appearance of emotional legitimacy.
6. Lastly, keep it superficial. Remember this is fellatio. The moment you genuinely assert/insert yourself, it's all over in a few minutes.

AN OLD-FASHIONED, REASONED CONCLUSION

Fact is, we are not certain that Scott Baradell has ever fellated his first wife Cathy let alone Sally the goat. But we are certain that he is an incessant petty little asshole with broad access. That's all. He's unencumbered by discipline, intelligence or talent. He's the poster boy for blog journalism. If you are looking for what's wrong with PR and journalism today, Media Orchard is a good place to start. And lastly, as an accredited member of PRSA who holds out APR to seduce potential clients, Scott underscores boldly the hypocrisy of the institution and the Industry.