This just in... in a surprising turn around, Edelman PR, the world’s largest independent ambiguous marketing agency, today announced the company’s first ever recall and reimbursement program. In a brief statement, the firm admitted that its foray into Web 2.0 had been ill conceived. With today's announcement, the firm admitted no guilt but took responsibility for variously and broadly encouraging people to invest in their "Me2Revolution" venture.
Exact details of the reimbursement are forthcoming. Rumor has it that the following items are being considered:
- All Me2 client fees and expenses will be reimbursed (not to exceed $3,500);
- Anyone who attended a conference where Rubel happen to speak may qualify for a one-time payment of $200 for pain and suffering;
- If you've attended any classes on blogging conducted by Phil Gomes, you qualify for a reimbursement of up to $17 for stationary;
- Lastly, if you are one of the many who've ever bought Rich Murray lunch, that expense will also be reimbursed (receipt required, liquor not included).
With regard to reimbursing client prospects for the time wasted on the firm's many new-business dog-and-pony show presentations, the company drew the line. On the condition of anonymity, one firm insider said, "Hell, that would put us out of business."
Editor's Note: Edelman has some 2,200 employees in 46 offices worldwide. The firm's client list includes Dove, United Parcel Service, Pfizer, Microsoft, Wal-mart and other diverse public and private interests.