Okay, let's first review what's the root cause of the split to see if we might heal this rift. Simply, PR is the business of manufacturing perception used to influence; and the very same tools that have given consumers the upper hand today, also have provided the ability for hyper scrutiny. Regrettably, what ultra-close examination has revealed in most cases is that the sum total of PR's work product is... well... hooey. There's no there there. Add to that, that modern technology has compressed the sales-belief-disappointment cycles so much that the net result is that before I've had a chance to get over from the last time you schtupped me, I look down and you're rabidly humping my leg again.

So let's talk specifics. Here are the 10 things fundamentally wrong with the business of PR today. Fix these first and then we'll talk about letting you back inside the house.

1. Bait and switch. Remember that gray-haired guy at the agency's new business presentation. Well, for the record, he was not a paid actor, but might as well have been. He will not be doing one iota of work on your behalf. Frankly, you the prospective client will never see him again. Sorry. His role is exclusively to get you to sign the contract.

2. Overbilling. There's just not a chance in hell Amy spent 83.5 hours on your account this month. For Christ's sake, there are only 12 key editors. If her padding were anywhere close to reality, you'd have at least one editor pressing charges for harassment.

Bottom line: Bill padding is just a fact of agency-life sadly. Take that away and few if any agencies would survive.

3. Ethical challenges. It is not only what we didn't do for your money... it's what we do for money. Now, of course, here we'll get a lot of practitioners claiming that they are like "lawyers in the court of public opinion" and that "everyone is entitled to a good defense." Right... you can believe that nonsense all the way to the bank and back. But this isn't about defense, this isn't court and you ain't no lawyer. What it is about is PR's inclination for being complicit in public fraud. Time and again, PR is the megaphone for the snake-oil huckster and stock scam. Remember the tech bubble? We were the air in that bubble. Think of the millions of dollars presently being moved out of pharma advertising because of regulation. Who's the heir? There is not an agency on the planet that will turn it down no matter how unethical it might be convincing people to take more drugs who aren't necessarily sick.

4. Lack of discipline. The core of good PR was once good writing. PR was a craft. Try to find that today. The writing skill is all but dead. Here's a doozie courtesy of Text 100's CEO Aedhmar Hynes:

With the help of a digital immigrant and a native, John Seely Brown and Aaron Uhrmacher, the thrust of our argument was that there is a very real danger that the change in communications we are currently witnessing is misunderstood as merely a manifestation of the proliferation of progressive technology or new forms of communications such as blogging and citizen journalism, when in actuality we're witnessing a profound shift in social behavior enabled by more sophisticated technology and driven by digital natives who are growing up in a world different to our own (those digital immigrants among us!).

I ran that through a writing analysis application. It returned this diagnosis: "You overwhelmingly embrace obfuscation and don't want the reader to understand anything you have to say. Your writing lavishes a preponderance of dependent clauses and compound negatives upon the reader, whose cognitive load not infrequently exceeds the purported benefit of the substance of the paragraph. Syntax incorporates numerous collections of items juxtaposed or in series that demand persistence and not a little unqualified expertise on the part of all intended recipients of the author's communications. In fact, such machinations inevitably prove detrimental to comprehension and sabotage the imparting of any and all knowledge. Your condition is irreversible." (Gotta love the irony of the diagnosis.)

In pointing this out to Hynes, she said, "It seems justifiable to me that I sometimes think out loud without going through a lengthy editing process which might polish up the prose but would probably lose the authenticity of my thoughts."

I told her that whether a blog or a corporate earnings statement, if your aim is to communicate and you expect to be understood, clear writing is pretty basic. Writing, and thinking for that matter, is a discipline that today is all but lost. Frankly, it has not done much for "authenticity" either.

5. Feminization of the business of PR. For obvious reasons, this topic overwhelmingly exceeds this article. So, at the risk of gross oversimplification:

According to Larissa Grunig, Elizabeth Lance Toth and Linda Childers Hon in their seminal work "Women in Public Relations: How Gender Influences Practice," feminization has had a severe negative impact on the business. The authors liken the trend to the evolution of the typing pool. Where it was once a respected and reasonably paid career choice, it's been relegated to the bottom of the corporate food chain.

Bottom line: this trend radically altered PR's course. The industry has morphed from hard consulting business to a softer consensus promotion practice. Just the phrase "command and control" is now perceived to be laced with testosterone. Today, that's strictly discouraged. Unfortunately, then came the Web. Consensus is a particularly bad business strategy on the Web, i.e. it is tantamount to herding cats.

And lastly, as this is a hot social issue, the problem is fully rationalized and even staunchly defended.

6. Cut and paste (turnkey creative). Early in my career unique ideas were coveted and encouraged. Today, we've found refuge as order takers. Today, by-and-large you give your customer what they like and what they like is what they know. If you sell them something new it's new to them... but guaranteed it is time tested on other clients. Our "tool kit" is old and the solution we retreaded and resold a thousand times likely no longer applies. Who among us has the discipline to create new tools? Edelman says they've created a lab just for that purpose. But who thinks that will ever be more than an aggregation function like Rubel's Micro Persuation? They are not going to make anything. They are going to collect stuff until that day comes when some company will pay them to experiment. If that experiment works, only then will they have a new tool.

7. Silly productization. We've devise cute names to make PR sound smarter and to make it easier for customers to buy. Brandshieldâ„¢ and i-Wiz, pure dee silly.

"Ogilvy IMpact makes these dreams a reality with a powerful suite of Internet monitoring, placement and marketing services that help build an effective online presence. Ogilvy IMpact brings the power of the Internet medium to traditional public relations campaigns." They are dreaming indeed.

And Edelman's "Me2Revolution"... that takes the cake. I imagine their booth at a Star Trek convention with bald post-adolescent kids sporting Spock ears and light sabers. If you want to be taken seriously, forget about trying to be cool among the kids.

8. Exclusivity. PR is very clubish. It is part of what we sell. A simple way to give something the perception of value is to throw up a gate.

Unfortunately, in the business of PR the pass is based on celebrity. Take celebrity blogger Steve Rubel. Take the celebrity away and what do you have? Not a lot.

See, not only does PR manufacture empty suits, they also recognize the value of shiny empty suits as new-business bait.

9. Confusion between a strategy and a tactic. Once upon a time, the way to judge that someone was a VP candidate in PR was if they essentially understood the difference between a strategy and a tactic. Today, it seems the upper management ranks have all but lost the ability to discern that. Well, let's put it this way, a "lot of stuff" (activity) is easier to use to justify a bill than having possibly accomplished one goal. What do you tell your client when you did not sell more of his dog food? Easy, "we worked really really hard and did a hell of a lot of stuff. That's worth something at twice the price."

10. Outmoded business model. Forget the financial aspects, the goal of PR was and still is essentially to influence a target audience. Now you're lucky to get their attention (see Economics of Attention). That puts PR in the essentially dishonest position of denying that we have ulterior motive. We do and we always will.

CONCLUSION

Until we address (fix) the real issues, we will always be reduced to a pseudo profession ironically in need of PR.

But that said, Sir Martin and a few others are lining their pockets so there is no reason to change. Also, mark your calendar, the Silver Anvil Awards Evening will be held on Thursday, June 8 at the Equitable Tower in New York City.